not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
