We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
