OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
