you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
