Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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