Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
