As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
