But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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