yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
