Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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