I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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