I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
