Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
