I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
