and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
