Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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