I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
