what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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