Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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