She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
