Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
