yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
