In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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