And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
