Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
