He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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