I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
