Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
