he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
