dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
