ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
it hurts more in the daytime
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
