come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
