i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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