But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need moral support for this bender
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
