this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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