I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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