if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
