Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just cropdusted the office
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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