so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
All the doctor said was why
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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