Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
