I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize