Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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