i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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