I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
