if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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