I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
