She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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