Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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