ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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