I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
